Monday, September 16, 2013

In Limbo

Sometimes I feel like I don't know my purpose. Now, I'm not saying that I'm useless and unimportant. I just feel like I could be doing something more with my time, something more for the world. But, instead here I am, floundering in a place I used to call home.

I am not in a bad place with unfortunate circumstances. I'm actually in a beautiful house with incredible people, living my life as if it were an endless adventure. I'm trying to follow His voice which has spoken the will of my life. Yet, there are seasons in my life where I seem to be stuck in the mud,  wondering what shall unfold.

Quiet honestly, I'm stuck in limbo. I know that in a few months time I'll be making my way back West. So, how do I make a life for myself here, knowing that I'll be gone by December. I'm having a slightly difficult time adjusting. Instead of fighting the urge to make things work for myself, I think God is trying to tell me something. He's constantly whispering to me, "Steph, listen to me, follow me, surrender and you will see the person you were made to be, you are beautiful because I made you."

I'm learning what it means to truly turn my total trust to God. It's not always an easy thing to do, to completely surrender and follow the Spirit that lies within. But, it's so undeniable, the testimonies in my life and how much impact they have had on my faith.

It may seem as if I'm sitting in a waiting room, wondering when I'll be called to my next mission. And even though I am not as productive as I could be, thats okay! We don't always have to be filling our days with duties. Sometimes we just need to take a breather, to walk our days one at a time, seeing each as an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what our inner voice has to say.

"Now I'm turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need." Acts 20:42

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